<If you really want to be happy, escape from hell called 'I'!>

<If you really want to be happy, escape from hell called 'I'!>

1. In the Western world, where individualism is emphasized, the myth of a man and a woman who are self-made is in the spotlight. Many people believe that it is all thanks to themselves that they have risen to the current position (in the culture of individualism).

2. But our present appearance is simply because of our position in relation to the world or others.

3. A wheelbarrow is just a piece of metal if it is not attached to the wheel, and even a hermit living in a cave, its existence is defined through relationships or distance from others.

4. Relationships inevitably take place in both directions because they are mutual systems. However, we cannot directly control the way others engage with us. Nevertheless, we can control the way we engage with them.

5. The Dalai Lama once said, "Human beings are egocentric and selfish, but they must exercise "wise selfishness" rather than "silly selfishness." "If you neglect others, you will lose yourself (in the end)."

6. The best way to realize one's own interests is to be interested in the interests of others. But it takes time to understand it properly.

7. Many studies clearly show that the Dalai Lama is right. Helping others benefits not only those who are helped, but also those who are helping.

8. There is a 'nervous connection' and a 'real connection' between generosity and happiness. Being generous prepares your brain for good feelings and is more likely to help others in the future because of them. Generosity is what creates a positive virtuous cycle.

9. The most intense emotions we feel (especially) come from our relationships with others. The social world is full of joy and meaning, but on the other hand, it includes disappointment and pain. We are hurt by our loved ones, and our hearts are broken when they disappoint us or leave us. And when they die, we feel empty.

10. The urge to avoid such negative experiences in relationships is fully understandable. However, in order to benefit from connections with others, you have to take some risk. Because nothing is always good.

11. The question (which is therefore important to be happy) is, "How can I get out of the trauma of the past and open my mind to a new relationship?"

12. The reason why we have difficulty in relationships (especially) is simple. It's because it's too egocentric.

13. (Even when we're building relationships) I worry about whether I'm doing right now and getting what I want. If you're being so self-centered, you'll ignore other people's experiences or opinions.

14. It's a common trap, but that doesn't mean it's inevitable. When you watch a book or movie, you're suddenly curious to experience something new. When you're curious about others (with the idea of encountering new content), a new approach begins.

15. Curiosity, especially deep curiosity about other people's experiences, has a profound effect on relationships. Curiosity about others opens the way for conversation and knowledge that we never knew.

16. At the same time, the other person feels understood. This can set a precedent for mutual consideration in light relationships and increase the strength of weak bonds.

17. Being curious (out of the hell of 'I' like this) helps you connect with others, and through these connections, you become more immersed in life. Does true curiosity make everyone involved alive?

- Robert Wildinger et al., "The Longest Exploration of Happiness in the World"